reassurance

i need to be reassured. every day, until i close my eyes and never open them again.

i need to be reassured that everything i do is for the best, that all the tears i weep are worth it, that every time i crawl in bed unconscious and indifferent, there is some hidden purpose behind all the sufferings. i need to be reassured because i'm scared. i'm scared of loneliness, of anger, of ignorance. i'm scared to disappoint those people who are so dear and so close. yet asking myself why i'm so terrified by the idea of loss, when i don't own much...

if only we had all the answers.